Men like. Want to be attractive and interesting and like men in movies but they won’t have personalities which I find super unfair. Like I’m really glad you loved Jake Gyllenhaal in Southpaw and that you got a tattoo on your back like him but would you cry if your wife died or would you just use her death as a sympathy card at a bar to pick up women and also are you willing to work hard at anything besides making me think you’re not a loser. Passion for nothing but recognition for things they are hardly passionate about its honestly jarring what kind of meaningless and warped existence how am I supposed to fuck and love someone that isn’t even an actual person who has no heart potential and lives in a constant state of perceived perception like don’t you actually want to care about things and learn things and live something meaningful why can’t men realize falseness is not sustainable and that they will ultimately be miserable in a way that isn’t heart wrenching but absolutely dull and pointless. I can’t even offer my pity without challenging their masculinity so I don’t offer it anymore
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when bjork said “you’ll be given love, you’ll be taken care of. maybe not from the sources you’ve poured yours. maybe not from the direction you are staring at. twist your head around. it’s all around u” SHE WAS RIGHT!!!!!!
I hate how “daddy issues” is used to call women crazy and un-datable rather than bring up the fact so many fathers are abusing their daughters to the point of emotional breakdown
getting mad at people for not picking up on your ‘hints’ is so juvenile lmao imagine blaming your laziness and refusal to learn basic communication onto someone’s inability to read your mind. that’s tacky and u need to grow up
I could be taking this in a direction OP did not intend, but this post makes me think about how awful we are as a society at communicating with emotional authenticity. As human beings we have an innate need to belong and a large part of that is being understood and having our needs met by others in reciprocal, empathetic relationships. Yet paradoxically I think it is an often unspoken yet very common belief that feelings are problematic and expressing needs openly is burdensome. Kids learn it early from their families and at school. In the media, too, where the desired sense of belongingness is depicted as magically happening but with very little vulnerability, as if any sort of relationship is effortless with the “right” person who “gets” us.
I’m a therapist and I cannot even count the number of times I have been told by clients about their frustration that someone is continuing to do something that upsets them, or they have a need that is not being met by a loved one, and then when I say, “Huh. I’m wondering what they said when you brought it up to them,” the response is inevitably that they didn’t bring it up. Because doing so would be terrifying, and how do you even go about that! I had a client once tell me that when she was a little girl, whenever she cried, her dad would yell, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” and beat her. That’s an extreme example of how many learn early that their needs and feelings are a problem. But even speaking for myself (I am thankful to have not experienced abuse as a child), expressing my feelings and needs openly was something I was horrified to do until my mid-20s, and even now I find myself having to intentionally make the decision to do so in my daily interactions.
I think very rarely it’s an issue of laziness or refusal to learn how to communicate. It’s fear, ingrained social rules, and learned helplessness after unpleasant past experiences. It’s desperately digging to find every subtle way to reach out to someone else because being not-subtle is unacceptable, isn’t seen as an option. It’s feeling hurt, discouraged and yes, angry - fearful that one’s needs will not be met and that one will never be understood. It’s not knowing what good communication even looks like, much less how to pull it off.
Not saying bad communication should get a free pass. Just that it is very complex, and we all communicate the best way we know how. For those who have learned healthy communication, let’s appreciate our good fortune and model our skills to others so they can learn too. And yes, that means setting boundaries, too.
sure he’s well versed in leftist theory but does he do the dishes
this is such a succinct critique of male leftists who think of it as theory only & won’t even get off their ass to clear the table
16 yr old me was SO strong I just wanna say sorry to her like that bitch said no and fucked the hell outta there and this bitch is just like, crying all the time
“I was born with a knife in one hand and a wound in the other.”
— Gregory Orr, from “Like Any Other Man,” in The Caged Owl: New and Selected Poems
“And I love you with pity and horror”
— Adrian Pounescu (1943-2010), from “Crazy White”, translated by Cristian Butnariu
Every day I prove myself I am stronger than I ever thought I would be, I find strength in ways I didn’t even imagine existed, i survive things that I couldn’t even bear to imagine, getting through this will be hard and slow, but god I can’t wait to meet and be the woman on the other side of it all, my capacity for forgiveness and understanding astounds me and i deserve to pat myself on the back for it because I spent most of my time fighting thoughts that tell me I’m weak and hopeless and cursed
The most comforting thing is, I will get away from him, actual hell contained in one person, as long as it takes and as hard as it is and as slow of a process as it may be, I will get away from him, and live a life where he is not even a shadow anymore, but he never will, he will live in the hell he creates for himself for the rest of his life and I can’t imagine anything scarier or more miserable
